I have 7 keys on my key ring and I know what 3 of them are supposed to be used for. It’s not like I am the junior high janitor with 237 keys dangling from a chain but it’s crazy not knowing why a key is in my possession. I have a drawer with several more keys and have no idea what they are for either. I even have a key hook plaque by the door with keys that I don’t know why I put there. They Must be important – they are right by the door.

I have a box in the shed with even more keys and again – no idea. The crazier part is I keep them because I just know that someday I will come across something that is locked and I will be able to say Aha – I have a key – now if I can only figure out which one. I know I have a key to my mom’s house in Florida but usually we fly there so I have no reason to bring my keys – so the key is on a hook at home with the car fob serving no useful purpose. My children have not given me a key to their houses (not so subtle hint, Dad) so I can’t confuse those. I have old job site keys that I should throw away but I can’t remember which ones they are! They say that we are heading to a day when everything is unlocked by facial recognition – that scares me – some days I don’t even recognize myself.

It all reminds me of Mister Jingeling from my childhood. This character would only be known to those of us children in the 50s and 60s who lived in the Cleveland, Ohio area. Mister Jingeling was almost more popular than Santa was to us kids. I can’t remember what I did yesterday but I can still sing the Mister Jingeling song. “Mister Jingeling/How you ting-a-ling/Keeper of the keys/Don’t you dare be late/For you have a date/On Halle’s seventh floor”. (I know it doesn’t even rhyme.)  I remember my mom and I taking a bus to downtown to go to Halle’s Department store during the Christmas season. Every kid knew that Mister Jingeling had a large key ring with all the keys to the Santa workshop. He was the Keeper of The Keys for Santa. He would unlock the door to Santa’s workshop for kids to visit Santa. He was assisted by the Play Lady and would appear on the Captain Penny show between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you went to the seventh floor of Halle’s Mister Jingeling would give you a large cardboard key. If you put it under your pillow on Christmas Eve it would help you fall asleep and give you good dreams about Santa. In other cities you would probably get metal medallions or ornamental keepsakes or at least a popcorn ball– we got a piece of cardboard!

There are other images of “key keepers”. You often see guys on motorcycles with heavy key chains with lots of keys – I guess it keeps them weighed down on the bike. School janitors always had a big bunch of keys and inevitably they knew exactly what each key was good for without hesitation. Unlike me who has to try every key until I find the one that works. Store managers always seem to have a big pile of keys – hey, as long as they have one for the bathroom! Saint Peter is called the keeper of the keys to the Kingdom. I’m sure when I am standing before the pearly gates he first will ask me if I am supposed to be there (hopefully heavenly humor) and then mumble to himself something like “I know one of these keys must be the one, maybe I left it on the hook by the boat shed – wait here”. “Hey” I would say “you could try one of mine”.