I was asked by Peg’s family to write and deliver a eulogy for her nephew Taru . It was delivered on Sunday October 27th. Below is a copy of that eulogy:
Good Evening
Before I begin I have been asked to turn your attention to the poster with directions for claiming art and remind you that all Star Wars figures hidden and displayed in the Conservatory are being given away-just take one. I also want to thank Chris Rose for the music.
Once again, good evening. My name is Danny Manross. I am married to Peg Sterling, Taru’s oldest aunt. I have been asked by Thom and Susan to talk to you about Taru. We are here today to remember and celebrate the life of Taru Sterling, beloved son, brother, cousin, nephew and friend.
I would like to start by reading a portion of the obituary for Legacy.com written by Taru’s brother, Shad.
“Taru Sterling was energetic, friendly, honest, and the most entertaining person behind the bakery counter at the Ann Arbor Whole Foods (since 2003). If you didn’t meet him there you might have met him at Community High (1988-1992) or Camp Algonquin (1986-1993), or you might have seen his name in the credits for the Judge Judy show. He was also the biggest fan of Star Wars and a talented and prolific painter with a degree from the Kansas City Art Institute (1992-1996). Taru passed away on April 18th, only a month after being diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. He was predeceased by his mother, Ann Sterling, and is survived by his father, Thom Sterling, stepmother Susan Lazar, and siblings Phoung, Shad, Sam, and Mercedes.”
Phu Thanh Hung was born October 30, 1973, in what is now South Vietnam. He was 1-1/2 years old when adopted by Thom and Ann through the Holt International Agency as part of the two plane loads of orphans airlifted out of Vietnam designated for Michigan. He was thought to have cerebral palsy by the Vietnam doctors. He was weak, thin, and unwell. In a few weeks of loving care, he began to walk, interact and apparently loved to eat crackers. He did not have cerebral palsy. He just needed a loving family.
When adopted Thom & Ann altered his name to officially be Tarek Phu Thanh Hung Sterling. Taru was the nickname for Tarek which means “star of burning brightness.” Those who knew Taru would agree.
Taru lit up the lives of all that he encountered whether he was aware of it or not.
Taru’s life journey continued as academic pursuits moved the family to Hawaii where Ann’s mother lived before he was 2. Neighbors and friends were quite talkative and lively around their new friend Taru. By age 4 Taru was an active talking toddler. When they moved back to Ann Arbor Shad was born 3 days after Taru’s 4th birthday. At age 6 Taru met a lifelong friend, Tiyal.
1980-age 7 was a significant year, as that year the family moved to the student housing apartment near the hill where he often went to look at the stars-and where his ashes were scattered on May 4. The following year Taru had the unique experience of watching the birth of his sister Jessica (now Sam).
Once again in pursuit of academics the family moved to California before 3rd grade. In 4th grade Taru went to art classes in Berkely. He was immediately known to have talent-he began by drawing nudes-not quite the thing to do in the 4th grade classroom. Thom told Taru to just not draw them in school.
By 5th grade they were back in Ann Arbor. In high school Taru attended daily art classes at Community High. One summer he attended the Center for Creative Studies in Detroit.
In 1996 Taru graduated from the Kansas City Art Institute with Taru’s adopted sister Mercedes age 4 in attendance along with his parents. After University, Taru had some small success as a professional artist-some items are on exhibit here today. He continued to do portraits his whole life.
For a few years after college, he went to California with his friend Camron Shafi where he had part time jobs including part time as a production assistant for Judge Judy. One time Judge Judy invited Taru to go to a Simon and Garfunkel concert with her as her guest.
One-year Taru came home for a holiday complaining about being broke-Thom told him just look for “help wanted” signs when you go back to California. Two weeks later Taru had a job with Whole Foods for the rest of his life.
As is the case with most of us, at one-point Taru needed help and came back home permanently. Working at Whole Foods and doing well Taru bought a house but eventually sold it to his friend Mike and then moved in with Mike, Mike’s daughter Rosemary, and family friend Heidi. This would forever be Taru’s “family”
Some of Taru’s treasured memories include visiting Uncle Ivan in Bonn, Germany for a week when he was 17 including a memorable drive from Berlin through the Berlin wall and 5-hour drive across Communist East Germany to West Germany. Ivan only had one tape so for 9 hours they listened to “The Best of Simon and Garfunkel.”
During Junior High, Taru went to YMCA Camp Algonquin. One of his camp friends, Linsey, took some of Taru’s ashes to be scattered at Algonquin.
Taru loved family get-togethers with his siblings and extended family. It was such an occasion when I first met Taru. Although I had heard him spoken of often by Peg and Shannon and seen his art hanging in our home, my impression meeting Taru was how eager he was to carry on a conversation-and he actually listened. I also found him to be completely honest when answering a question-seems to be a Sterling trait.
Thom’s wife, Ann, passed away in 2009. A year later he met Susan, and they married in 2012-point being that Taru instantly welcomed his entire stepfamily into his life. Taru told Susan that he wished to be invited over “whenever you invite your kids over”. Taru never missed a holiday at their house unless he was sick. He visited Thom and Susan often. He just had to leave before dark because he did not want to hit a deer.
Tributes: online, emailed & shared
Taru’s cousin, Amanda Olesky wrote: “Rest in peace Taru. Your spirit was so bright and to realize it won’t shine anymore is heart breaking”
Alisha Ase wrote: “He was a huge light in my tiny life at commi high. He did a beautiful portrait of me for my mother as a gift. He will be missed in all the little bits of love that life brings.”
Alison Stankrauff wrote: “Taru was and is one of my favorite and most important people. I will always miss him. My heart is heavy”.
Dani Levasseur wrote: “Taru was a truly gentle and unique soul. I was blessed by his spirit and entrance into the world. Taru opened my eyes to so many magical things”
John Ferry, Professor at Kansas City Art Institute wrote: “Taru was in the first class I ever taught as an adjunct instructor. I don’t remember every student, but I certainly remember Taru’s passion, work ethic, dedication and positive attitude. He helped me become the professor I am today, and for that I will be forever grateful. It’s said that a teacher’s influence is felt through eternity. Taru’s influence will be felt through my teaching for as long as I continue.”
Amy Lazar wrote: I had the honor of meeting Taru during family gatherings. He was kind, funny, talented and clearly loved his family so much. Taru was just one of those people who made you feel like the world was a wonderful place and news of his passing weighed heavily on my heart.”
Many who shared tributes for Taru mentioned his love of Star Wars.
Efra Forizzle wrote: “Taru you are now one with the force. I can’t speak for him, but I would think Taru would want us to follow the Jedi Master Yoda’s teachings as he did in this case. Jedi Master Yoda once told a very powerful Jedi, Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the force. That I will do for you, young padawan Taru. May the force be with you always til we meet again Brother.”
Taru’s cousin, Sterling Orlowski wrote: “He was always the person you knew what he was like. He was always positive and always brought that energy to every aspect of his life. He loved Star Wars. He was an amazing artist. He was kind. He was loved. I know this. He is one with the Force-the Force is with him.
Taru’s brother, Shad Sterling wrote: “We scattered Taru’s ashes on May 4th-Star Wars Day because Taru was a huge fan. By the light from our light sabers, we shared some memories. Such a dear sweet soul. Taru, you will be missed by all who knew you. Fly high!”
When Taru passed, his best friend, his roommate and roommate’s daughter had watched Star Wars with the volume up so Taru could hear in his room and went to check on him during the closing credits in time to spend a few peaceful moments with him before he seemed to choose the very end of the Star Wars closing theme to find his final moment.”
I will have a few closing comments, but would like to open at this time for anyone who wishes to say something-then I will have closing statements.
Taru’s Dad said that Taru was always full of energy and joy. He made friends wherever he went. He was always willing to jump in to help. Taru had great health all his life and rarely saw a doctor. His final illness, turbo cancer of the liver, took him and everyone else by surprise. He did not have much time to prepare for death. He told us, “I thought I had more time.”
Susan mentioned that there is a piece of art being exhibited (#046 dated April 17-18,1994) that she believes has a premonition of his death 20 years earlier. He could not have known that he would be living on Maple Street and lifting off to heaven at that time.
Susan also observed that Taru was a firm believer in the spiritual world in general. He frequently pointed out a little pigment on his eye that he said meant he was kissed by an angel. He was truly a gift from God.
We know that this day the angel that touched Taru is standing in line with a host of angels waiting to get their portrait drawn by our “star of piercing brightness”.
Thank you all for coming.
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