Danmancle's Blog

So, we had been visiting/helping one of our daughter’s family while maintaining our quarantine rules and had been away from home for about 10 days – which is close to 47 days in “favorite comfy chair” years. Let me explain.

I realized recently that no matter which of our three daughters’ homes we visit – there is no fatherly, grandfatherly, sleep inspiring, muscle soothing, butt forming, leg resting, old fashioned, comfortable perfect Chair for me to sit in. Not a single one! Well, one of our daughters has a recliner in the granddaughter’s room that she used to rock her to sleep in but now I have to ask my 5 year old granddaughter if it’s ok for me to go to her room just to sit in her comfy chair – she always answers with “if you want to.” She then follows me into her room pretending to play with me. We both know she is guarding “her” chair.

So back to my original point – I miss my chair at home. It’s like my blankie or stuffy.

I have earned that chair: I am retired, am old, had back surgery, am lazy and like to sit. Some people like a chair to recline, some to rock, some to swivel. I hit the trifecta – my chair does all three! Sometimes I feel like Sheldon on The Big Bang tv show – I have the perfect seat in the perfect spot – and its mine! I can sit in it; I can rock in it; I can watch tv in it; I can nap in it; I can see down the hall and into other rooms; I can swivel to talk to any visitors; I can swivel around to look outside the window – the complete chair! Oddly, when the grandkids come to visit us, they all want to sit in grandpa’s chair – sometimes all at the same time! See, why can’t their parents realize this! Maybe they think that if they had “the chair” in their home, I would never leave.

So, we are up to day 80 of our quarantine routine- quarantine vs isolation to be factual. I have gone on a few quick store runs and two Dr. appointments in 80 days but by definition have not been in contact with a human being other than the Dr. and have always worn a mask and gloves and used sanitizer immediately after removing the gloves and then total handwashing once arriving at home. In addition, I disinfect the steering wheel, and all door knobs after coming home.  We have had no symptoms in 80 days and therefore are confident in our “bubble” of no virus.

Since the previous blog concerning Covid-19 testing (negative), we have also been tested for antibodies – also negative. So, we don’t have Covid-19 nor have we ever had it. We understand that neither of these tests are 100% proof, but we feel confident in the safety of our “bubble”.

Each of our three daughters have maintained similar criterion in their family dynamic constituting a bubble environment. Usually just one member of each family has ventured out for “supplies” under the same strict guidelines thus sustaining their own safe, clean “bubble”.

With that in mind we decided to allow our bubble to cohabitate for a few glorious hours with one of our daughter’s bubble allowing us to enjoy long overdue hugs with a couple of our grandchildren within the safe confines of a Covid-19 free house.

We weren’t throwing caution to the wind (like those who shout that there is a 95% survival rate so who cares) and being ignorant of possible asymptomatic contagions but all possible scientific prerequisites had been maintained. I’m sure they were just as worried for our sakes as I was for theirs. It was so wonderful to be huggable and feel normal for a few hours before going back into the quarantine routine. If each bubble maintains the recommended criteria for maintaining a virus free environment, then bubbles could intersect cleanly. This requires a great deal of trust and honesty for all involved. If I ever thought I had been compromised in any way it would put me immediately in isolation mode for a clear 14 days to monitor for any symptoms before declaring my bubble safe again.

Who would have ever thought that at 70 years of age I would enjoy bubbles?

I’m not sure what number of days of the quarantine this is for us – somewhere between 50 & 60. Still getting lots of chores done and the yard is looking really good, and Peg is up to 32 windows completed, but 2 days ago we did something quite different. We got tested for covid-19. It was quite surreal- like a sci-fi movie. Now, I have had a “stick in the nose” procedure done many years ago and it was the most painful thing I think I have endured on purpose. It had something to do with a sinus issue if I recall. The doctor took a long metal instrument with a large hunk of gauze at the end of it and shoved it up my nose as far and hard as humanly possible. I swear it was going through my brain! It hurt so bad that I basically blacked out for a moment. After a while he pulled out the metal stick and then slowly pulled out the gauze like he was a magician unraveling multi colored scarves out of a sleeve – I was not amused.

So, having had that experience in the back of my mind- literally – we were going to get tested for covid-19. I read in the paper that testing would be performed in our county for at risk people. We qualified for age and underlying health issues. I called the listed phone number, set up the appointment and received a place and time. Tada! I read that they would be taking a 6” soft cotton swab and “gently” inserting it into the nasal cavity for just a few seconds to get what they needed. Sure – and the CIA gently “persuades” persons of interest until they get what they need!

Upon arriving at the site – we followed the signs into a deserted parking garage (not too ominous) and “patients” followed the signs staying in their cars and waiting instructions from position to position. Policemen directed the cars while nurses dressed in complete hazmat PPE asked questions at each station along the way. It was kinda like a drive through at Wendys – “may I take your order please?” why yes, I would like the 6” cotton swab to be shoved into my brain please. “thank you, please drive to the next station”. I swear as we got closer to our appointed torture chamber – the cotton swabs were getting longer and thicker. By the time we got to our designated destination they were using broom handles instead of cotton swabs – or so my mind played with me. Dear God just give me the virus and send me home now!

The car came to a final halt and we were approached by two astronauts each with two masks and two pairs of gloves – with what appeared to be a javelin they were going to thrust up my nose – I thought with lip quivering. They calmly gave their names (probably not real) and told us what they were about to do and they said it smiling – how dare they – I know their tricks! My wife went first. She never complains of any pain – ever – she is a warrior- when they were done with her – she looked at me and said “Oh yeah It hurts”. OMG let me out now – one of the astronauts was already blocking my door. I was trapped. She put her grinning face toward the car and told me to roll down my window and put my head back. What do I do? There was a line of cars waiting behind me – should I jump out and warn them?  It was too late to put the car in reverse and escape.  I succumbed to the grinning PPE person and did what I was told. What if I pass out? or worse cry like a baby? She shoved the pitchfork up my nose and started counting – I remembered that they counted slowly to 5 when they did my wife. When “Vlad the Impaler” got up to 37 – well it seemed that long! it was over – and yes it hurt. But it was important, I think everyone should get tested.

Actually, the nurses were totally professional, kind, and absolutely prepared to offer a safe and secure environment providing a monumental service. It was not a broom stick, or pitchfork they held – it was really a magic wand. Something we can use in these dark times.

Today is our 40th day of being self-quarantined, as we started a bit earlier than most. The last dude that I have read about, who spent 40 days and 40 nights waiting out a worldwide catastrophe in family isolation wound up shoveling animal poo for the next year. Lots and lots of poo. Like Noah, I certainly hope I am not expected to repopulate mankind when this is over. Although…

It doesn’t seem like 10 days have passed since my last quarantine update, yet at the same time it seems like this has dragged on for months and months and months without end. Must be some aspect of the theory of relativity in there somewhere.

I am getting lots of rewarding yard work done and Peg has dedicated herself to cleaning all 38 of our house windows both inside and out! I am calling it dedication rather than an obsession although I do get an updated window count every night. They do look really good though. Every room has been cleaned which has been a salutiferous byproduct of this quarantine. It’s ironic that the house has been so well cleaned, and all the guest rooms have been completely done, yet we cannot have any guests visit. In the meantime, Peg has already started picking out colors to have rooms repainted – please Dr. Fauci find a cure soon!

It is good that the pandemic coincides with a time in our lives that technology has developed where we can face time with grandchildren and zoom with family members and friends. That has been a psychological uplift through all of this. In fact, our grandchildren are apparently being left to their own devices (pun intended) at times during the day because we have been getting random face time moments from the grand-kids without any parents involved.

I was scheduled to be in a Shakespearean production to be performed in late May, however the pandemic has postponed our performances until October. The Director said that we all still get to keep our parts, though, and now with the extended time, maybe for once I will learn my lines properly. It was great fun yesterday having a zoom video conference with 16 of the actors from the production – The Merry Wives of Windsor. Hopefully by October the gods will allow us to get together and enjoy some old-fashioned fellowship and social gatherings and maybe by then Peg may have run out of windows.

One of the most disheartening aspects of this, our day 30 of self-quarantine, is that it occurs in the midst of our most storied traditions. Just as we adjust begrudgingly to having our day to day routines being shattered, now it disturbs our very serious holiday routine. On this weekend where the Christians celebrate Good Friday, have sunrise services and gather all around the world for Holy Easter Sunday; where the Jewish community celebrates Passover; and soon the Muslim community celebrates the beginning of Ramadan, the virus has messed with all of these religious activities allowing no recourse to congregate.  Moreover, this horrible calamity upon us has now messed with the greatest of those traditions – the Easter Bunny baskets of candy!

For as long as I can remember, I have provided Easter baskets to our daughters.  No matter how old they have grown, no matter where they move, no matter where we may be – they get an Easter basket full of candy on Easter weekend.  NOT the grandkids – No – that is the job of the real Easter bunny.  My job is for our daughters and their husbands. Over the years I have had to adjust the baskets to meet their changing tastes. One likes milk chocolate bunnies, one wants white chocolate bunnies (that’s a marketing bonanza), one wants dark chocolate, one likes peeps, one hates peeps, one likes standard jelly beans, one likes speckled jelly beans, one likes Reese’s while another one prefers Snickers etc. etc.  You get my point – it is time consuming, exhausting, tedious, frustrating – but truly one of the absolutely most fun times of the year for me. I always look forward to being the Bunny once again. Finding the right sized “mailable” basket or box or Tupperware container. Then packaging them up and going to UPS or post office to special mail the “baskets” on time. It was the best experience for me – until this year. The virus took all that away from me – no shopping at a dozen stores to get the right goods, no going to find the right box, and no going to UPS to ship it properly. I am crushed. I always enjoyed the weeks of eating the “leftover” candies that wouldn’t fit in the baskets. After years and years, the cycle has finally been broken! The coronavirus has killed the Easter Bunny!

Day 30 brings on all the same reminders as day 1 – wash your hands, keep 6 feet apart and don’t touch your face! Lifesaving advice. By now Peg wishes they would advise 6 miles apart. It is a little tough being stuck with me every day.  Do they not know how hard it is for me to NOT touch my face? I wear large loose glasses that slide down my nose, I have a beard, I have seasonal allergies – I am the poster boy for face touching! Just take me out back and shoot me now. “No Peg – it was just rhetorical”.

No face touching – no Easter candy – I can’t take it anymore -but the most devastating consequence of this quarantine is that we haven’t been able to babysit the grandkids since last year! Surely there is no god!

“Laughter, Tears, Anger, Gardening and Remote Grandparenting”

Laughter: It’s one way we navigate this horrible crisis together. We laugh at and with each other- a lot.  Our silly jokes, the goofy things we do, even our mispronunciation of words make us burst out laughing- just silly day-to-day things we notice that crack us up. Of course, it’s been that way for our 22 years together – we make each other laugh often. Big guffaws, tear producing, belly shaking laughs.

Tears: It’s so hard to watch the news every morning and not tear up or just burst out crying. Hearing stories of the doctors and nurses fighting to keep us alive is both joyous and heartbreaking. Stories of loved ones not able to be with their hospitalized family member at the end of life makes us cry. We cry thinking of our own family members that we can’t be close to or help out. It breaks our hearts.

Anger: We cringe and get angry over the stupidity of people not taking it seriously, over the person supposed to be leading us out of this mess who requires subordinates to kiss his ring and ass in order to get the necessary help needed to actually save lives, over the greed of people hoarding supplies unnecessarily, over the ignorance of people gathering on beaches and in churches that will just prolong the crisis. A special anger for me towards the church gatherings – I guess I missed that beatitude at seminary from the sermon on the mount “Blessed are the selfish and egotistical”.

Gardening: We have done a couple new things this week during our 4th week of self-imprisonment. I purchased flowers and plants, picked and paid for online. Then we drove to the nursery, got loaded up and drove away – no human contact necessary. I needed to be doing some yard work and found a way to get product without people. Just being able to be in the yard doing “normal” things is helpful after so long. It is cathartic.

Remote Grandparenting: We have been Face Timing & Zooming with our distant kids & grandkids and even with our closer ones just an hour away but this weekend was different. We had a unique grandparenting experience indicative of the way of life we are now faced with. One of our daughters needed something we had but would be silly to drive an hour to pick it up.  Solution- we would meet halfway in a shopping center parking lot and exchange items. The 2 granddaughters came so we would stay on one side of our car while the kids played and talked to us in the parking lot. We got to have a good visit but never could get close enough to hug our grandchildren. “Social distancing” is not a Grandparenting trait. It was fun, joyous, and very sad all at the same time. Giving invisible hugs when they had to leave was hard. We would never have imagined such a strange visit even just a month ago.

Stay safe, be smart – I’m sure we have another 25 days to go.

The most notable change in day 18 versus other days is the sense of sadness that is beginning to permeate our daily routine. The routine itself is to the point of monotony.

Looking back on how we got to this point is pretty crazy. I agreed to come out of retirement to work a job for my old company prior to anyone realizing the mess we would all be in. The job was in a nice part of Westchester County, NY, and I agreed to work there for 5 weeks. We had no idea that the area was in its infancy of eventually becoming the epicenter of the coronavirus during my time there. Additionally, we went into Manhattan, rode metro trains, took subways, went to Grand Central, Times Square, Broadway plays, restaurants and basically exposed ourselves to the soon to be center of the pandemic. We packed up and left 3 days short of my agreed upon contract when the governor of NY issued the 1 mile containment zone where I worked.  We left March 11 and drove home to North Carolina.

I repeat all that information because it now amazes me that after all that exposure, we have remained symptom free in now our 18th day of self-quarantine. We actually began our quarantine prior to all the government calls for the same.

We continue to catch up on old recorded shows and new movies. And we’ve gotten lots of cleaning done. We have now completed 7 of the 10 rooms plus the 2 bathrooms. All the rooms (not bathrooms) have hardwood floors so they smell so good after a cleaning with Murphy’s Oil soap.

We have walked on the Greenway up to 4 miles, although I have begged off going the last couple days since the pollen is killing me. We have made a game of counting how many people we see on the paths as we walk. It has been as few as 2 and as many as 56 in the course of the 1-1/2 hour venture-mostly in singles or groups of two.

We enjoy Zoom video chats with our kids and some Face Time with the grandkids. I tried my hand at giving our grandson a video class where I showed him the significance of all my caps & hats, I have collected (about 50).  I knew I was doomed when part way in he said “You’re not gonna show me ALL your hats are you?” Class dismissed.

Peg is such a good cook; we have only done a takeout/delivery meal one time. I put the grandkids’ play table on the porch for the grocery deliveries to be placed and CVS delivers our drugs (prescriptions) which allows us to maintain “contactless” shopping.

As do all of you, we hope this will one day find an end, but in the meantime, we will carry on and do our part.  We continue to miss our family (especially the grandkids), our dance friends, and my acting peeps. Someday there will be lots of hugging going on.

Here we go again. This was my third audition for an acting part in a Shakespeare play. Like the first two auditions, I was nervously anticipating failure prior to my brief monologue. They suggest a minimum monologue length of one minute. That’s like an hour and a half in my mind. If you talk really slowly and get dramatic with lots of gestures, you can stretch a 40 second one to the minute!

This time when my 20 second monologue was done the new director had me “cold read” lines from the play to see how I would interact with others. Geez, it’s like being in preschool again and my report card said “doesn’t play well with others”. I don’t know why it’s called a “cold” read because I was sweating like crazy. She had me keep reading with different fellow actors – maybe someone would be compatible she thought. Then she had me read as a different character. Not sure why – my cracking nervous shaking monotone voice would sound the same if I read for any part. Ironically, I got the part for a character I never read for. Maybe she thought – well he didn’t mess that one up. It felt like my audition was longer than the play.

You would think I had learned my lesson by now! This one has more lines- lots more lines – so I must be insane to do this. The young real thespians in the play (they are all young – I am an official “white beard”) don’t realize that at my age I can’t remember what I had for breakfast let alone remembering a group of words that I am supposed to automatically spew forth with perfect emotion and articulation upon hearing the verbally appointed cue. They don’t realize I spend most of the day saying “What did I just say?”, or “Wow, it’s so shiny”.  I had to read my marriage proposal to my potential wife so I didn’t mess it up (it was pretty good though – it worked).  I am a strong proponent of name tags so I don’t forget people’s names. I have a large group of friends named “hey-you”. George Foreman had the right idea naming all 5 of his sons George – brilliant! I don’t have pets because I can’t remember their names – If they ran away, I couldn’t call them back. I just call all animals Bob. I often call our granddaughters by their mothers’ name.

I guess the phrase “a glutton for punishment” is appropriate. I keep putting myself in these stressful situations for the love of Shakespeare. I should have been a fan of silent movies instead.

The director for this play is young, enlightening, professional, kind, dedicated, beautiful, and has a wonderful manner, (have I sucked up enough yet?). She told me that she wouldn’t yell at me – ha – we will see! I think there is a Vegas line to see how many rehearsals it will take. The over/under is 4. Come to think of it, she doesn’t need to yell – she has “The Stare”. She just gets totally quiet and looks at you- never blinks- and then for good measure she adds The Smile – and never says a word! I saw it once – I froze- my blood stopped flowing – I wanted to apologize for everything I did wrong since 8th grade! I’ll take the yell please.

Our play, The Merry Wives of Windsor, is being set in the suburbs in the 1990’s. I still have socks and ties from the 70’s so wardrobe will not be an issue.  BTW – I have been cast as a very distinguished, wealthy, middle aged man- now that my friend is called acting!

* As of this writing, the play is on hold due to Covid 19.*  (Great – that just gives me more time to be nervous!)

Well we haven’t lost our minds yet. So far, the days seem to go by strangely fast yet slowly at the same time. What I mean by that is that the day seems to drag on forever but then suddenly it’s way past “bed time” and the day is over.

We have finally mastered the art of ordering supplies through Instacart and grocery store delivery. Tedious at first but getting the hang of it. Kinda cool that you can get wine delivered to the house. It’s been quite useful with Uber Eats also. So, eating and being entertained with movies and tv shows has been the norm.

We have set a plan to Spring Clean a different room in the house every day. That means moving, removing the furniture and sweeping, dusting and mopping the floor and cleaning every surface. At least when this is over, we will have a really clean house.

We have our daily walk up to 3 1/2 miles now – Peg has been much more faithful to this than I. It’s odd to walk the beautiful Greenway and see so few other humans. Quite peaceful.

We did have the coolest biproduct of this whole horrible ordeal. Our daughters, being well versed in Zoom videoconferencing had us sign up. The other night we had a family videoconference (at wine o’clock). So wonderful to see all the family adults together on the screen at the same time. It was like we were all sitting around the dining room table enjoying conversations and drinking wine. We will do this more often to give us a sense of family in the absence of real gatherings.

In another source of a daughter’s ingenuity, Peg had a teaching moment with the two grandkids in NY. We set up a Face Time classroom where grandma had a lesson and story time which was really fun. The kids seemed to enjoy the brief “classroom”. I know Grandma did.

We will continue to stay isolated as long as it is prudent.

Not so bad- kinda like retirement had already been except now we can’t visit anyone! That was the point of retirement – to go visit the grandchildren. Anyway, we are adjusting quite well I would say. It is only day 5 however. We don’t call it quarantine- we call it “jammieland”.  We can’t go anywhere and nobody can visit so we can spend all day in our jammies!

Since we live only a 1/4 mile from the Greenway, it is enjoyable to take walks (not in jammies). Our usual jaunt so far is 3 miles. Lots of movies and recorded programs to catch up on help fill the gaps. I had been waiting for months after my back surgery to be able to start working in the yard and garden again – now I have the time. Peg is a great cook so good meals are never an issue.

The most difficult aspect is the lack of socialization, at least for me.  Peg is certainly not antisocial but she usually doesn’t initiate it, whereas I tend to be the social butterfly. I would say that I have started talking to the squirrels, but I always did that. One of our favorite pastimes is ballroom dancing – but that’s off the table for a while, although we could/should use this time to practice.

It’s unfathomable to me how people are hoarding groceries. We ordered groceries online since we can’t go out and half of our list was unavailable from the store. I remember that when I was a kid, we would have both the milkman and bakery truck deliver to the house. Wow – I am old.

I keep asking Peg when the Wine and Ice cream truck is coming by. I wonder what the jingle from its loudspeakers would sound like? I guess they would serve an old man dressed in jammies.