Employers of the world unite- please- and give me a job – save me from the horrible fate in which I am currently entrapped! No, not unemployment – even worse – I am being held hostage by the desires of a beautiful woman. Oh wah wah you say -I know what you’re thinking – I should not be complaining. You just don’t understand!

 Actually it’s really my own fault for trying to please her and doing it so well. It could be my consistent steady stroke and delicate touch. It could be that I can go for hours at a time, and usually get better as I get warmed up.  At least she lets me do it to soft jazz. The music keeps me focused and on task – hard rock tends to get me off rhythm. But enough is enough, people – bedroom to bedroom, day after day – even asking me to do it in the hallways and on the stairs. For heaven’s sake, I am only human – every day my neck and legs hurt from being in so many different positions. Ironically as my stamina increases, I am asked to do even more!

What should I do? Should I feign an illness?- claim that I have a headache? –come up lame? I need some rest.  I really hope she doesn’t tell her friends, and then they want me too. Imagine being pimped out – oh the shame – or is it glory? Then their husbands will have “P” envy and you know how men talk – I’ll have to be constantly proving myself!

  How did this happen? It began in college when I did it all the time – actually got pretty good at it – even helped pay my way through school doing it. I should have never shown her that I was that good.

 All this angst just because my wife DESIRES to have all the rooms in our house repainted – yes PAINTED – what were you thinking??