As I had written in a previous blog, I was afforded an opportunity to “act” in a Shakespeare play. I was given the part of Adam in As You Like It. I was also given the part of Hymen for the first week’s run, until the real actor was able to take over. My first and foremost character was a no brainer. Adam was a very old man anywhere from 80 to 97 years old. Perfect! I fit the bill. Let the fun begin.

I knew nothing about the acting craft – but would learn soon, and fast, if I ever wanted to do this again. Everyone was given their script containing the amended final version of the play. The Director said “whatever this paper reads – that’s what you say!” The Director is God! The stage manager is little god!  Side note- our stage manager was also our prompter. This person deserves sainthood. As prompter she had to be present for every second of every scene and be ready to respond the moment an actor shouted out “line”. She never got a break during rehearsals. She was like a cat with nine lives.

The systematic plan for rehearsals as I saw it goes like this: everyone gets a script, everyone reads the script out loud as their character comes in to play. This is done repeatedly for days. The next phase: you act out your part of the scene while reading your script but adding character mannerisms to the part. The next phase: you act out your part of the scene with no script in your hand but can ask for assistance from the prompter. The next phase: no script, no prompter, and you die alone on stage and wish you had never auditioned.

With rehearsals completed, we started having real performances with actual live audiences. Being new, I had no point of reference for this. Everyone had their “warm up routines”. I just stared into space wondering what on earth I had gotten into. I thought I had it down, no problems. Early performances were for a handful of sympathetic patrons and all went fairly routinely. “I could get used to this stuff.” I said to myself – easy peasy! BUT…

On the day of the big public performance, when the largest crowd of the run would be present-and my friends were coming and my family was coming and my grandchildren were coming…it happened…I choked, I froze, I lost it, I bit the big one…you get the picture!

My first real line, in the first act, in the first scene, of my first play I am supposed to put my hand on Orlando’s shoulder in the midst of a violent fight between him and his estranged brother Oliver and say ”Sweet Masters be patient, for your father’s remembrance be at accord”. 11 words – that’s all. Just 11 simple words. Everyone over 5 can recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school – that’s 31 words! We all can sing the 12 days of Christmas – it’s a Lot of words. It takes 11 words for most people to order their usual drink at Starbucks every morning.

But what I Actually said was…”uh…your brother’s membrance…please”. OMG what just happened? Don’t worry I thought, nobody knows the actual lines – EXCEPT the Director who is God, the stage manager who is little god, every single actor in the play or anyone who ever heard of the play, the prop person, every person who knows Shakespeare, and of course Shakespeare himself who was rolling in his grave!

But then came the actor’s miracle. Orlando, who sensed my impending demise(actually he saw the tears running down my cheeks, my lips quivering, the fear in my eyes and the pee running down my leg) and immediately, without skipping a beat, went to the next line as if everything was just fine – The show must go on!

I couldn’t remember 11 flippin words. Some of the actors had a gazillion words and some had to play multiple characters with different dialects and still remember a bazillion words. The Duchess was also Phebe. The wrestler was also the Duke. The other “white beard” was Le Beau, Corin AND was a musician. Little god had to mange scenes and become Jaques de Boys at the end. Rosalind was a girl and a boy! Jacques also had to sing. Celia had to be beautiful as a princess and an Alien(a). The wrestler’s beautiful assistant had to be Dennis, a lord and a valet as well as understudy for others! Oliver had to be really evil and then become a hero which is very hard to do wearing shiny girly blouses – but he succeeded! Silvius had to be love struck and clueless – nailed it! The poor Touchstone had to act off of three different actors playing William and all three did completely different versions! That was No fool! He was an absolute pro. Audrey had to act while carrying a goat – now that is dedication!

All the actors were selflessly dedicated to their craft. I could tell how much pride they all took in their performances. I was surprised and in awe of how they stayed in character everywhere they went while in proximity of the staging grounds. Orlando (the actor known as) would be talking to me as we walked through the woods between scenes and at first I had no idea what he was talking about but then awkwardly realized that he was talking as if we were having a discussion as our characters. I heard him having a long conversation with another actor “off camera” as it were and they were discussing obscure items in the forest and Orlando’s relationship with Rosalind – when no one else was around! My favorite example of such dedication to character was a comment made by Phebe while we were sitting around between scenes as she made a lengthy and well done,perfectly clever comment about another actor’s character BUT as Phebe in character complete with attitude and dialect.

These young (for the most part) adult actors accepted me into the fold, gave me guidance where needed, answers when asked, and boatloads of patience to me and my character. I must have made a great impression on my granddaughter. We drove by the library at Christmas and her mother said “that’s where Grandpa had his play”. My granddaughter looked at me (as I eagerly awaited a wonderful critique and praise) and said, “Yeah OK – where is your walking stick Grandpa – can I play with it”?

And yet, the craziest things happened during rehearsal. There was one time when… sorry – to be continued….–