So I’m not sure which is the most annoying consequence of having spinal surgery at almost 70 years of age- the back pain (to be expected), the 23 hours a day of either sitting or lying down, or the totally caught me by surprise added surgery bonus of being required to wear a catheter. I guess “wear” is not quite the appropriate word. It’s not like choosing a scarf or proper seasonal clothing – “so should I wear the blue polo shirt today or the catheter?” NO – it’s a bowling ball with a garden hose obviously put where a bowling ball and garden hose don’t normally reside.

Apparently, the surgical anesthesia puts the bladder into some sort of shock. The poor thing is scared and traumatized, and refuses to relax and return to normal. Until it does, I am forced to use the catheter. It has been nearly 3 weeks so far and I have been unable to talk it down from the ledge. This unintended consequence may also be an indication that the bladder was at the point of inefficiency and the surgery gave the bladder a chance to yell “see, I told you so- help me, help me”.  Evidently, I am just along for the ride. Well, me, the bowling ball and garden hose.

It has also hindered the scheduled rehab program.  Constantly being tethered with the catheter has created limited mobility. “Hey why don’t you come over for a couple hours and watch a ball game or movie while you recover”?  “Sure” I say – “can I bring over my bag of pee with me?”  Kinda limits the boundaries of recovery.  I go back to the Urologist tomorrow to try again.  So, it will be the end of my new companions or the beginning of a much longer-term relationship.  It would be nice to be able to concentrate on my back – which is why I actually had the surgery.